1 post tagged “introspection”

I guess that most people go through times like this. They hit a particular milestone in their life and begin to reflect upon where they have been, where they are and where they are going in their life. For me that particular milestone is my 50th birthday.

This is the first birthday that starts a new decade that I am not all that optimistic about. Things have occurred both on a personal level and in the world general that has made me feel rather pessimistic about the future.

It is not to say that I have not achieved some things in my life. I have the love of my family and friends. I've several personal achievements to feel good about. Yet, I feel I could have accomplished more.

I have never been jealous of others accomplishments that to me is a waste of energy. I may have wished I had someone's talent or ability but I never begrudged them that talent or ability. In fact I always felt that whatever abilities or talents I wished I had. I felt I could have at some point in my life developed those abilities or if I only applied myself or set aside the time to I could in fact develop those very abilities or talent even now.

There are things looking back I wished I had done. But I realize that if I had done those things I might not have ever done things I have. I have never been married or had children. I have not traveled as much as I would have liked. And as I've said above I may not have availed myself of the opportunities to fully develop all my abilities and talents.

On the other hand. I have held political office at the local level. Met a Presidential candidate, three governors, three congressmen, two senators and a host of other political officials at various levels. I have a good job which I like, I have a few good friends, a great family, and I have met a woman (my girlfriend, in the beginning of 2005), who has brighten what has otherwise been a rather dim world over the past few years.

What I guess what bothers me is that I feel I could have accomplished more with my life. No I am not delusional nor do I think I could have saved the world in some fashion. I just feel that I have not taken full advantage of my talents or abilities and wasted opportunities that I had been afforded.